Death & Dying

As I continue my journey through life, weekly I meet people who are dying or who have loved ones who are dying. I am fascinated at how much I can learn from these acquaintances as I watch them embrance, or struggle with their conflicting emotions that could be from a history of a bad relationship with the person that is dying, or their own conflict with being 'afraid' of death, or simply feeling a sense of loss as the person drifts from being conscious. The fear of not knowing what life will be like without this person is scary. You ask yourself if you have said everything that needs to be said, did you do enough to let this person know you love them? Or is this person dying and you are not able to make ammends with what has happened in the past? That can be the most painful of all feelings. It's painful for the person dying as well, as it can tend to draw out their dying process and be extremely difficult to watch. As nurses and ancilliary staff, we are taught that if a person states they're in pain, or appears to be in pain, we must medicate appropriately (although not everyone does this is or comfortable with it). Often times, there may be no medical reason for a dying person to be in pain, yet they are agitated, moaning and appear to be in major discomfort. This can be related to unresolved issues with a certain family member or friend. The point of all of this is to lead up to my thoughts on dealing with difficult family members and people in your past. In the end, it's not worth it. Try to let go of your grudges, learn to deal with the root of your anger and hate, and be and live as peaceful as you can. I was on the phone today with a lady who stated, "I don't know what I will do without my mom in my life", knowing full well that there are only hours, or days left. I got a huge lump in my throat (as usual) and could barely choke out the words, "that must be difficult." Then thinking of my own mother and asking myself the same question...

BTW -She'll be here on Tuesday. I can't wait! :)